The day will yet come.
When all will be peace.
The time is at hand.
Forget all the fighting.
Forget all the bad.
This will be your day.
To remember forever.
This will be our day.
When we all live together.
In peace. Ad infinitum.
27 July 2005
19 July 2005
I can create a world in my mind...
But this one is anything you could want it to be - at times an understated beauty, at other times a grotesque monster. It's all about perspective. More specifically mine and yours... what perspective will you take? and why?
17 July 2005
an on-going quest...
I've been working on this one for a while now.
As you can imagine this "Unifying Principle" that I seek is no easy feat, and as of yet i've been too busy enjoying life to give it too much thought. But I do hope discover something that will keep me interested in this almost untangible quest for the truth... maybe when I stop asking questions the answers will find me?
Everyone needs a hobby.
If anyone who reads this can shed some insight into my search for the truth in an fabricated world, the search for reason in an irrational humanity, I would greatly appreciate the help.
The Unifying Principle:
The one thing that binds all in existence; life, death, all that is known and unknown.
As you can imagine this "Unifying Principle" that I seek is no easy feat, and as of yet i've been too busy enjoying life to give it too much thought. But I do hope discover something that will keep me interested in this almost untangible quest for the truth... maybe when I stop asking questions the answers will find me?
Everyone needs a hobby.
If anyone who reads this can shed some insight into my search for the truth in an fabricated world, the search for reason in an irrational humanity, I would greatly appreciate the help.
Adieu all.
15 July 2005
not an experiment in sleep deprivation, just my screwwed up habits!
Did you ever get that feeling where you've borrowed your body for the weekend and you didn't bother reading the manual?
Thats me right about now... 26 hrs and counting... my body feels akin to a slab of granite and I'm only awake because I dont want to go to sleep at 8 and wake up at midnight only to repeat the bad cycle again. The basic fact is: Insomnia sucks... big time!
And the strange thing is that it only starts to kick in real bad right before uni semester begins just to screw with my head... this leads me to 2 conclusions; a) I'm a little stressed before going back for another round of uni fun, and b) I need to start exercising or something like that... an evening jog or something? I've been meaning to get back into Kendo but I guess I'm just too damn lazy... and the part-time job + full-time uni kinda sucks up the free time as well.
Anyhow, at the risk of sounding like the bad carpenter who blames his sanding block, I'd better leave this train of thought at the station... instead i'll replace it with a different train of thought... a riddle! (the only riddle i've ever come up with, though its probably been done before ;) )
Thats me right about now... 26 hrs and counting... my body feels akin to a slab of granite and I'm only awake because I dont want to go to sleep at 8 and wake up at midnight only to repeat the bad cycle again. The basic fact is: Insomnia sucks... big time!
And the strange thing is that it only starts to kick in real bad right before uni semester begins just to screw with my head... this leads me to 2 conclusions; a) I'm a little stressed before going back for another round of uni fun, and b) I need to start exercising or something like that... an evening jog or something? I've been meaning to get back into Kendo but I guess I'm just too damn lazy... and the part-time job + full-time uni kinda sucks up the free time as well.
Anyhow, at the risk of sounding like the bad carpenter who blames his sanding block, I'd better leave this train of thought at the station... instead i'll replace it with a different train of thought... a riddle! (the only riddle i've ever come up with, though its probably been done before ;) )
I have a neck but no head,
I have a body but no arms,
My only sense is but sound,
And my bridge crosses no rivers,
What am I?
If you need a clue, I talk about this 'thing' in one of my posts... the 'nothing' post I think?
Last random thought: does the 9:15 to central go anywhere?
12 July 2005
Some thoughts during the lonely hour of three
Night... the silence of this hour disheartens me. The dead of the night it must seem. Nothing stirs outside my window, no thoughts, no promises... no death. I feel the chill as if it wafts across the room around my dingy little oil heater. Still nothing stirs. Dead silence, a conflict unto itself... and still I wonder when sleep will take hold of me. Its all these late nights, lack of work and university holidays that are slowly driving me insane. To come off a busy semester and a part-time job to this is no evil twist of fate, just a coincidence.
There was once a day (long ago in my deep past) when I believed in fate and destiny, and that nothing happened by accident... but that was a different time, and I was a different person, full of bitter remorse and self pity. What has changed and why I wonder, but the answer is simple, I did some things in my past to prove that life isnt just driven by fate, and I gave up on self pity and trusted in my abilities enough to move forward. I also gave up on god. I still believe in jesus and that he was a great philosopher who had a great deal to teach about compassion and forgiveness (two of the greatest qualities that I try my best to uphold), but as far as religion goes (for me at least) the world is a chaotic maelstrom of suffering and pain, there is a reason for us all to live, but if we dont follow our heart our try to give ourselves a reason then the world certainly wont do that for us... and if we follow any one religion we will eventually end up questioning our own faith and this will then lead to a crisis that no one should need to go through. Its not worth it in the end. And when you've gone through that crisis it will only harden your resolve against faith, this is never a good thing. We all need faith. Faith is the cornerstone of our heart. But faith does not have to be for anything spiritual, it doesnt have to be faith in a god or in a higher power. The faith can be in yourself, and in others. It can help free you from the chains of suffering and pain. It can shield you in life and help you pull out of the darkest pits during the time of sorrow that you will undoubtably go through at some point in your life. Its there for you, only if you wish it to be. And it can disappear just as quickly as it comes to you if you give up.
Well, I'm starting to feel a bit more tired now... maybe I'm putting myself asleep with my own diatribe? If so then I cant imagine how bad an effect all this would have on the 3 odd people that may read this... to those people I am sorry if my polemic has a mild dozing effect, but its the first thought that came to my head and well, I might just do this every night that I feel the insomnia set in. good night! err... morning.
There was once a day (long ago in my deep past) when I believed in fate and destiny, and that nothing happened by accident... but that was a different time, and I was a different person, full of bitter remorse and self pity. What has changed and why I wonder, but the answer is simple, I did some things in my past to prove that life isnt just driven by fate, and I gave up on self pity and trusted in my abilities enough to move forward. I also gave up on god. I still believe in jesus and that he was a great philosopher who had a great deal to teach about compassion and forgiveness (two of the greatest qualities that I try my best to uphold), but as far as religion goes (for me at least) the world is a chaotic maelstrom of suffering and pain, there is a reason for us all to live, but if we dont follow our heart our try to give ourselves a reason then the world certainly wont do that for us... and if we follow any one religion we will eventually end up questioning our own faith and this will then lead to a crisis that no one should need to go through. Its not worth it in the end. And when you've gone through that crisis it will only harden your resolve against faith, this is never a good thing. We all need faith. Faith is the cornerstone of our heart. But faith does not have to be for anything spiritual, it doesnt have to be faith in a god or in a higher power. The faith can be in yourself, and in others. It can help free you from the chains of suffering and pain. It can shield you in life and help you pull out of the darkest pits during the time of sorrow that you will undoubtably go through at some point in your life. Its there for you, only if you wish it to be. And it can disappear just as quickly as it comes to you if you give up.
Well, I'm starting to feel a bit more tired now... maybe I'm putting myself asleep with my own diatribe? If so then I cant imagine how bad an effect all this would have on the 3 odd people that may read this... to those people I am sorry if my polemic has a mild dozing effect, but its the first thought that came to my head and well, I might just do this every night that I feel the insomnia set in. good night! err... morning.
Without you
Time is cold,
Cold as a winter night among the frost and fog,
Weighty as the matters at hand,
As they present themselves in linear fashion,
Deep as the deepest sea,
A cloud of enigma un-pierced by the light of truth,
Time is dead,
Paralysed in the minds of billions,
Desperately seeking hope to cling to like a raft in the ocean,
Unblinking in its resolve we wait,
As the quiet passes on and over our children like a lion among the lambs,
Time will pass,
Unending and bitter,
Forever it will go on,
Without you.
Cold as a winter night among the frost and fog,
Weighty as the matters at hand,
As they present themselves in linear fashion,
Deep as the deepest sea,
A cloud of enigma un-pierced by the light of truth,
Time is dead,
Paralysed in the minds of billions,
Desperately seeking hope to cling to like a raft in the ocean,
Unblinking in its resolve we wait,
As the quiet passes on and over our children like a lion among the lambs,
Time will pass,
Unending and bitter,
Forever it will go on,
Without you.
11 July 2005
Selected poems from my latest work
To far gone, and back
Am I too far gone to care?
You ask with but a callous air,
No,
It’s not for now I lament or lose sight of,
It’s yesterday,
Tomorrow,
The day after the day after,
And on till the end.
The end is all I have left.
The end is all you will find in me.
You ask with but a callous air,
No,
It’s not for now I lament or lose sight of,
It’s yesterday,
Tomorrow,
The day after the day after,
And on till the end.
The end is all I have left.
The end is all you will find in me.
A meaning?
What is this desire to find the meaning, the way?
There is nothing out there for you.
You see the birds?
What do they find in life?
Meaning?
Happiness?
It’s all arbitrary to exist for a meaning,
When there is not a meaning that exists for you.
There is nothing out there for you.
You see the birds?
What do they find in life?
Meaning?
Happiness?
It’s all arbitrary to exist for a meaning,
When there is not a meaning that exists for you.
Crown of thorns
I am,
All the stars above the night sky,
I am,
The jealous rage that feelings now deny,
I am,
The blade that doth speared a raven’s cry,
I am,
Charcoal hands within the sediment they lie,
I am,
All that came forth from this healed wound in its pain,
I am,
Everything you ever thought you could refrain,
I am,
The boundless mystery shining forth upon the day,
I am,
The crowned gift upon your faith,
All the stars above the night sky,
I am,
The jealous rage that feelings now deny,
I am,
The blade that doth speared a raven’s cry,
I am,
Charcoal hands within the sediment they lie,
I am,
All that came forth from this healed wound in its pain,
I am,
Everything you ever thought you could refrain,
I am,
The boundless mystery shining forth upon the day,
I am,
The crowned gift upon your faith,
I was,
Ever loving, ever holding out your wait.
Ever loving, ever holding out your wait.
The Journey
Its what the ancient guide told me on the journey to the stars,
“We’re a long way from home”,
It’s the fragments of thought,
The ragged old shoal,
An epic unfolds,
“We’re a long way from home”,
Through the winters of epoch,
Over bridges of gold,
In the endless unfolding,
“We’re a long way from home”,
It’s the gift that he gave me,
In craved idols gaze,
The tablets they say,
“We’re a long way from home”.
“We’re a long way from home”,
It’s the fragments of thought,
The ragged old shoal,
An epic unfolds,
“We’re a long way from home”,
Through the winters of epoch,
Over bridges of gold,
In the endless unfolding,
“We’re a long way from home”,
It’s the gift that he gave me,
In craved idols gaze,
The tablets they say,
“We’re a long way from home”.
I have nothing more to give,
I am but a single heart,
A fragile stone.
10 July 2005
The trials and triumphs over a thousand miles
As the title of this post attempts to explain I did recently go on a long journey, on the motorcycle I affectionately refer to as "Betsy" (I guess its easy to form a bond with an inanimate object that has both saved and almost lost your life about a dozen times)... Anyhow, my journey started in sunny Canberra... no wait, it was cloudy that day... on the 27th of June in the year of your lord 2005 AD. I rode to Melbourne. Then I rode to Adelaide. Then I rode back to Canberra, the end.
whats that? you want to read about what happened to me? the pitfalls and tragedies, the triumphs and successes?
Theres not really a great deal to talk about... I may have changed a little on this journey, maybe a little in the wrong direction, who knows. One thing I do know is that I came dearly close to crashing on more than a few occasions and not mention coming very close to a nasty case of hypothermia on the home stretch. I do now feel as if i've passed through the eye of the needle and have come out on the other side unscathed. And the worst thing about it- is that it hasnt changed me inside, it hasnt been an epithany or wake up call to change my life, to live life to its fullest. It seems the cruelest trick of fate that I should defy death only to not understand life any better, but hey, who knows anymore about life than anyone else? no one. And that is perhaps the biggest single truth to life, that no one understands life more than anyone else. It may sound a little defeatist to you, but to me it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside... kind of like the great humanizer, the idea that levels the playing field a little bit in the game of life.
That tangent aside the destinations themselves proved an interesting contradiction to me. For starters I thought that Adelaide (where I was born) would be great fun and Melbourne would be fairly average. But to me it turned out to be the reverse; Melbourne was great (can never have too many cafes... I wouldnt be surprised if Melbourne has more cafes than Rome), and I have a new found respect for Jazz (went to a great little Jazz bar called "Dizzy's"), and Adelaide was nice (got to visit relatives I hadnt seen for years) but the weather (which was inclement to say the least) and the apparent lack of nightlife proved to be disappointing to me.
So where is my next destination going to be? who knows... with my next immediate desire being the completion of a degree, only one thing is still obvious to me: that I only seem to feel alive when I'm 5,000 miles from the place I temporarly call "home". Must be that the longing for travel is the only constant in my life. May be that home is not just a physical dimension in this world, but just a figment of my soul... perhaps its very essence. Theres a thought to end with...
"Goodnight my children, my longing of life, my spirit of being, my spirit that flows, for it wont be long now, before this spirit must go".
whats that? you want to read about what happened to me? the pitfalls and tragedies, the triumphs and successes?
Theres not really a great deal to talk about... I may have changed a little on this journey, maybe a little in the wrong direction, who knows. One thing I do know is that I came dearly close to crashing on more than a few occasions and not mention coming very close to a nasty case of hypothermia on the home stretch. I do now feel as if i've passed through the eye of the needle and have come out on the other side unscathed. And the worst thing about it- is that it hasnt changed me inside, it hasnt been an epithany or wake up call to change my life, to live life to its fullest. It seems the cruelest trick of fate that I should defy death only to not understand life any better, but hey, who knows anymore about life than anyone else? no one. And that is perhaps the biggest single truth to life, that no one understands life more than anyone else. It may sound a little defeatist to you, but to me it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside... kind of like the great humanizer, the idea that levels the playing field a little bit in the game of life.
That tangent aside the destinations themselves proved an interesting contradiction to me. For starters I thought that Adelaide (where I was born) would be great fun and Melbourne would be fairly average. But to me it turned out to be the reverse; Melbourne was great (can never have too many cafes... I wouldnt be surprised if Melbourne has more cafes than Rome), and I have a new found respect for Jazz (went to a great little Jazz bar called "Dizzy's"), and Adelaide was nice (got to visit relatives I hadnt seen for years) but the weather (which was inclement to say the least) and the apparent lack of nightlife proved to be disappointing to me.
So where is my next destination going to be? who knows... with my next immediate desire being the completion of a degree, only one thing is still obvious to me: that I only seem to feel alive when I'm 5,000 miles from the place I temporarly call "home". Must be that the longing for travel is the only constant in my life. May be that home is not just a physical dimension in this world, but just a figment of my soul... perhaps its very essence. Theres a thought to end with...
"Goodnight my children, my longing of life, my spirit of being, my spirit that flows, for it wont be long now, before this spirit must go".
04 June 2005
More about nothing.
Nothing. Its a brilliant concept. At once seen by people as something both negative and a non entity, which is understandable, because nothing is a non entity. But nothing is not a negative. I see nothing as something positive, something tangible, so this makes me a minimalist? yes it does to a degree... I like to think less is more and that nothing is everything. Why do we need more material possessions? more stuff? does it ever make us happy... I'm not saying I dont have material possessions; I own stuff, not alot of stuff but I do own things. And the things I own do make me happy to a degree (God forbid my life without my fender stratocaster... would certainly be a bit quieter though : ) ...). But I never let my possessions become the be-all and end-all of my life... and I dont stay awake at night worrying if I cant afford a Ferrari... but I guess that just makes me luckier than the people that do.
Anyway, this was just another tangent I'm off on... another insight into my mind (not that I care if people understand me or not). Its just good to bring to the forefront my sub conscious thoughts every now and then... If I could only reach the bottom and make it back up for air... hmmm, now theres a challenge!
Anyway, this was just another tangent I'm off on... another insight into my mind (not that I care if people understand me or not). Its just good to bring to the forefront my sub conscious thoughts every now and then... If I could only reach the bottom and make it back up for air... hmmm, now theres a challenge!
03 June 2005
And Thus Spoke Celticdiardan...
In this modern world (I believe it is such), its quite easy to lose sight of the important things, the small things (which I find are of much greater importance). Its for this reason that I speak about this loss of sight... we can sometimes find ourselves blinded by weighty matters and forget the little things in life. A good quote in the gospel of Thomas (one of the unofficial chapters of the bible. Its ambiguity worried the early church and so they banned it from the bible)... anyway here it is: 5. "Yeshua says: Recognize Him in front of thy face, and what is hidden from thee shall be revealed to thee. For there is nothing concealed which shall not be manifest, and nothing buried that shall not be raised."
What I take from this scripture is both the fact that we should face problems front on when they appear, and that the obivous (be they the mysteries of the universe) should become clear when we face the issue. It can be quite easy to accept the world for what you see and never once ask questions, but this can lead to a simple and (perhaps) boring existence. We must all reach a point in life where we turn to face our doubts and ask ourselves questions about why this happens or why that happened... its the nature of humanity, to ask why, its what I face everyday when I get out of bed, why are we here, why did humanity happen? was it just a random atom here and there? I find that hard to fathom, the odds are greatly stacked against evolution... but I also think the odds are greatly stacked against theology... is there a happy and realistic middle ground? ...well if I could answer that question I certainly wouldnt be sitting in front of a computer pouring out a complete tangent, I would most likely be telling everyone I could about the "meaning" of it all. Anyhow, I'm really just speaking off the cuff here, and needless to say it is pointless wondering how we came to be, we did, and we are, the main question I want to answer is; what is on the other side, if anything?
Maybe i'll learn soon enough?
But i'll say one thing: it sure as hell is one great motherf**king mystery... and I'm sure if it could elude Plato then I'm in way over my head... But it doesnt hurt to wonder ; )
What I take from this scripture is both the fact that we should face problems front on when they appear, and that the obivous (be they the mysteries of the universe) should become clear when we face the issue. It can be quite easy to accept the world for what you see and never once ask questions, but this can lead to a simple and (perhaps) boring existence. We must all reach a point in life where we turn to face our doubts and ask ourselves questions about why this happens or why that happened... its the nature of humanity, to ask why, its what I face everyday when I get out of bed, why are we here, why did humanity happen? was it just a random atom here and there? I find that hard to fathom, the odds are greatly stacked against evolution... but I also think the odds are greatly stacked against theology... is there a happy and realistic middle ground? ...well if I could answer that question I certainly wouldnt be sitting in front of a computer pouring out a complete tangent, I would most likely be telling everyone I could about the "meaning" of it all. Anyhow, I'm really just speaking off the cuff here, and needless to say it is pointless wondering how we came to be, we did, and we are, the main question I want to answer is; what is on the other side, if anything?
Maybe i'll learn soon enough?
But i'll say one thing: it sure as hell is one great motherf**king mystery... and I'm sure if it could elude Plato then I'm in way over my head... But it doesnt hurt to wonder ; )
02 June 2005
The three greatest Virtues
I just thought I would write about what I think are the three greatest virtues:
1. Compassion. If three virtues seems a bit much for you then you should at least try to live by one. Compassion is by far the most important virtue in this world and is by far the least lived by virtue. Why? because Compassion is a completely selfless act, if you act in Compassion you are almost never acting for your own benefit. If everyone on earth acted with Compassion in mind it would be a much nicer existence for all... I'm not saying the world would be perfect but people as a whole would be happier. And although I talk about Compassion being the most important virtue I'm not painting a picture of myself as someone entirely Compassionate, just as some who strives to be that way.
2. Honour. Honour is important. Not only Honouring others as decent human beings no matter what they believe. I mean also to Honour yourself. You are who you are (cliche alert!), and if you cant change yourself you should at least be happy with yourself. Nobodys perfect. Not even God... you know of all that smiting stuff he did in the old testament, would a perfect God do that? So when I talk about Honour I mean both of other people and yourself. But remember, dont let Honouring yourself become foolish pride... pride is never a virtue unless its reigned in carefully.
3. Trust. When you have Trust in others you also project yourself as an Honest person. I understand that there's people out there that will try to screw you over (I know because they've already screwed me over!), but if we cannot Trust people then what can we do? Should we be fearful and paranoid all our lives? Should we believe that the next person to come along will betray us? I've been in that mind set before and I can tell you that its not a constructive state of mind... its something that tears you up inside and slowly eats away all the good things, those things that make you human.
Anyway, thats it... If you have any suggestions (or disagreements) please comment.
1. Compassion. If three virtues seems a bit much for you then you should at least try to live by one. Compassion is by far the most important virtue in this world and is by far the least lived by virtue. Why? because Compassion is a completely selfless act, if you act in Compassion you are almost never acting for your own benefit. If everyone on earth acted with Compassion in mind it would be a much nicer existence for all... I'm not saying the world would be perfect but people as a whole would be happier. And although I talk about Compassion being the most important virtue I'm not painting a picture of myself as someone entirely Compassionate, just as some who strives to be that way.
2. Honour. Honour is important. Not only Honouring others as decent human beings no matter what they believe. I mean also to Honour yourself. You are who you are (cliche alert!), and if you cant change yourself you should at least be happy with yourself. Nobodys perfect. Not even God... you know of all that smiting stuff he did in the old testament, would a perfect God do that? So when I talk about Honour I mean both of other people and yourself. But remember, dont let Honouring yourself become foolish pride... pride is never a virtue unless its reigned in carefully.
3. Trust. When you have Trust in others you also project yourself as an Honest person. I understand that there's people out there that will try to screw you over (I know because they've already screwed me over!), but if we cannot Trust people then what can we do? Should we be fearful and paranoid all our lives? Should we believe that the next person to come along will betray us? I've been in that mind set before and I can tell you that its not a constructive state of mind... its something that tears you up inside and slowly eats away all the good things, those things that make you human.
Anyway, thats it... If you have any suggestions (or disagreements) please comment.
01 June 2005
How great it feels to finally get my first comment
Wow, I got a comment... only took a year or so before it happened. And I must say that its certainly renewed my fevour for my Blog spot. Much to the point that I actually posted a photo and wrote this... and more to the point that I may actually post a poem or two in the coming week, but dont get your hopes up, I've got exams to pretend I'm interested in ;)
Anyway, to all you bloggers out there that took the time to read me, this one's for you!
Anyway, to all you bloggers out there that took the time to read me, this one's for you!
1.
Sorry, that was me being literal again,
Nightie Night Night... Night.
04 December 2004
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